If you are ever like me, you might be prone to bouts of despondency that creep around conveniently as the hands of the clock move past 4pm.
Ennui, despondency, a strategic form of discontentment; that leaves you sighing at the futility of all; is an emotion that is as annoying as it is contemplative.
I realised recently that my experience of ennui is inextricably linked to the colour chartreuse. Chartreuse, for the less colour-inclined, is a shade halfway between yellow and green. This could encompass anything from acid greens to pears and olives.
Chartreuse makes me think of irreality. It is an unnatural, skin-tingling, scalp-tickling hue that nonetheless exudes a certain cool. It is the epitome of unfulfilment in a myriad ways; the antithesis of being happy with what you have.
Chartreuse to me is Feels, the new Calvin Harris track, that is a visual mish-mash of disconcerting shades of neon and negative. It is Sylvia Plath, who herself battled the emotion out in a sonnet. It is the sharp tang of pineapples, mixing with the lingering taste of toothpaste in your mouth. It is flicking through an Instagram feed, as the dreaded afternoon lingers on; but deep down, wanting it to stay, for you are unprepared for the evening that will surely follow. It is the feeling of Lycra, silk and velvet at your fingertips, making you relish and shudder simultaneously at the touch.
What then does ennui feel like to you?
Featured Image Courtesy of Pixabay.